This post is a reply to a blog post here: And They Say There Is No God
Matt,
Many controversies, such as the one you highlight here about whether there is a Creator, are themselves secondary to a greater problem. I don’t mean to suggest that the question of creation is unimportant, but rather, that there’s something that’s of more fundamental concern. Two things, actually. Continue reading
Have you noticed how some people seem hard-wired to get you to believe and to act like they do? Indeed, some people seem to operate on the untested assumption that all their friends ought to do as they do. Having learned many lessons the hard way as a result of going along, I’m now taking a more sophisticated view of such things.
Yes, it tends to offend others when you don’t jump on their bandwagons as they pass by your house, but why jump onto something that you know (or should know) that you’re going to regret later? It’s this way of thinking that Continue reading
Where is my teacher?
I am sick with worries
And I need to
Sit at his feet until
All my worries are
Under his care–
Until I am myself again.
I need my teacher.
—————————
Note: I was in a very unhealthy church and was striving to make sense of things with no one to teach me. I also had some unrealistic expectations about receiving spiritual support directly from God, as so many claim is supposed to be the norm. It was not working for me, despite my sincere efforts. It took me quite some time to figure this out and to seek out some answers for myself, rather than waiting to be told by somebody else. That was a really important paradigm shift for me.
There is a certain art
To saying
But one thing
In a poem.
Yesterday and I broke up.
I do not care to see her again.
I loved her for years but she
Never loved me back.
She is not the one for me.
Now I am seeing Today–
Learning her smile,
Memorizing her voice.
I have high hopes,
But even if things don’t work out,
There is always Tomorrow.
Nostalgia
Makes promises
He cannot keep.
He is a liar
And I don’t
Like him
Anymore.
———————-
Note: Boy, could I write a book about this one?! Having spent the early part of my life looking more often backward than ahead for inspiration, it took me some time to figure out the error of that pursuit! I do not wax nostalgic anymore—at least, it is only on rare occasion that I do. Indeed, even with politics, I look back on the beginning of our nation with disappointment and wish that we could organize ourselves to do better NOW!
Humility
Fits me funny—
Like a suit
I would not have
Picked out for myself.
But I trust my tailor.
————————————
Note: I have certainly progressed over the years since I penned this thought. I do not find it awkward now. Instead, I see the occasional glimpses of pride and do my best to analyze my own behavior accordingly. At the time I wrote this, I was in a controlling church where I was often accused of “being prideful”, primary as a means of shutting down my critical thought processes. This is not to say that I was never proud at that time, but that the rebukes I got for it were often offered insincerely and for ulterior motives. That served to confuse the issue even more, for I was ever being told that I “think too much” when the exact opposite was the truth! Trying to “be humble”, therefore, by “not thinking too much” is a fool’s errand!
There is a difference between
Hopelessness
and
Despair.
In all these dreams–
The countless nights of
These fifteen years–
I have not
once
dreamt of you.
That must say more
about my heart
Than the sum of all
my deliberate thoughts.
Change me, I pray,
To long for
You.
——————————-
Note: This prayer occurred at a time when the idea of having a “relationship with God” was on the forefront of my mind.
