My machine quits responding, so it asks me whether I want to force the program to close, or to wait. Not wanting to wait any longer, I decide to speed things along by forcing the program to close. Then I am informed that “Windows is looking for a solution to the problem.” How come it didn’t ask me whether I wanted to wait, or to wait some more?
I wonder what would happen if I started responding in conversation as my computer does. Perhaps I would say things like:
- “Jack is taking longer to respond than normal.”
- “Your message to Jack was undeliverable. This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.”
- “Jack is not responding. Would you like to wait, or force Jack to close?”
- “404 Error. The Jack you are looking for was not found.”
- “I’m sorry, your message to Jack exceeded the word limit. Please try again.”
- “No hard disk detected. Please install a brain and try again.”
- “I’m sorry, but custom coding is not allowed. Please remove all assumptions and attitudes and resubmit your message.”
- “Your submission cannot be transmitted until you have successfully populated all the required fields. Naturally, I have cleared all the fields from your previous attempt so as to cause the maximum amount of work in resubmitting.”
- “You are not authorized to access this Jack.”
- “Well, this is embarrassing. Jack is having trouble recovering your windows and tabs. This is usually caused by saying things that make no sense.”
- “Jack needs your permission to continue. Allow Jack to make changes to your thinking?”
- “I’m sorry, but your trial period has expired. If you would like to continue your use of Jack, please click here to purchase an account.”
