Now I’ve got to tell you right up front
That you’re going to need to sit down
While you hear me out.
There are standing up talks
And there are sitting down talks
And this is one of the latter kind.
So let’s get started here:
As you’re trying to help people
In this beautiful/ugly world—
Beautiful/ugly person that you are—
Still imperfect yourself while yet
Looking in good faith to make a difference—
You’ll run into two kinds of people more or less
And it will be very useful to know how
To spot the difference
Because the health of your soul will
Sometimes depend on it.
Some that you try to help will be
Looking for a way forward.
And for them, your imperfections may well
Present an impediment now and then.
So you need to grow very solid
On what I’m about to tell you:
You’d have to be quite a mess
To make it impossible for a motivated person
To move forward under your care.
Quite a mess indeed!
So you keep on working to improve
As much of your own mess as you can—
So as to be as much a blessing
And as little a hindrance as possible—
And you keep moving forward!
And the ones who are really
Looking for a way forward
Will likely find it
Whether fast or slow—
Even if they have to go find
Some better help than you.
And yes
You’ll discover that you have
Lots of little messes along the way
And even some big ones from time to time.
But you keep moving forward and don’t stop!
And all that part’s hard enough
But now we have to talk about
That other type of people who are
At the end of the day
Looking for a way out.
They do not want to change and grow
And improve themselves
As you and I are trying to do.
Nope.
They’re looking for a way to escape
Any responsibility for such things.
And the sad irony is that they will
Single out somebody like you
Who is looking to make a difference
And they will use your imperfections
As an excuse to quit
To move on
To change the subject—
Even as something to lash out at
Instead of taking it out on their own
Shortcomings and errors.
And leveraging the good thing about you—
That you are indeed looking to get better—
They will gaslight you
Lying and spinning and dodging
And doing whatever they can to make it
Sound like it’s all your fault.
And you—
Being yet imperfect
And admitting that you are—
Will be tempted to believe that lie
When the truth of the matter is
That they were never looking
For a way forward
But for a way out
And were quite willing all along
To make a show of you if need be
For that very purpose
Because they are betting
They only have to put on airs
To get by in this life.
And I have to warn you
That people like that
Will find some excuse in you
Even if they have to make one up—
A pure canard
An utter fabrication—
Even a lie about you
That is the exact truth about them!
They particularly seem to enjoy
Daring the irony of that.
And they will serve it up hot—
Acrimonious about how it condemns you
Yet cold about it it should condemn them
Of whom it is actually true.
And unless you are very strong
Of heart and mind both
You will believe them sometimes
When you should not.
So remember this courageously:
It’s almost always going to be true
That you can do better
But you should never forget
That it takes an awful lot
To stop a person who is truly
Looking for a way forward
And not a way out.
And he who finds
And takes the way out
Was almost certainly
Already looking for it.
And that’s about it—
Except for this word of warning before I go—
Something to keep always in your pocket:
Don’t you ever let your mission to help others
Get twisted into an entitlement to believe
That you yourself are at liberty to neglect
Your own messes when they become obvious.
If helping others forward
Should ever get twisted
Into a way out for you—
Well—
You will have become
One of the ugliest sort of all
And in such a case as that
It is difficult for me to imagine
A beautiful end for you.
