Waxing Conspiratorial About the New 2022 Quarters

I ran across this meme yesterday, and thought I’d have some fun with all the possible interpretations I could imagine.

This meme’s statement leaves a lot to the imagination. Perhaps it suggests some sort of signaling from the US Mint about the US Government rejecting the motto, “In God We Trust”. But it got me wondering how else it could be spun, if someone wanted to imagine some different message. So I’m posting this nicer image, showing for the record the new against the old. And after that, I’ll let loose with what comes to mind.

Let the reader note that this is just me having fun; I’m not necessarily making statements I believe in. This is an exercise in political “spin”, demonstrating that clever people can find multiple ways to interpret something, depending on the disposition and intellect of the audience to whom they are catering. (Ergo, the interpretation you hear might be worth a little vetting before you take it as fact!)

1. “In God We Trust” appears higher on the new quarter than on the old–which is the US Mint’s way of signaling a renewed faith in God.
2. The words, “In God We Trust”, had once emanated from Washington’s lips, whereas now, they are relegated to the back of his mind.
3. George Washington is visibly worried in the 2022 depiction over ______________. (There are too many possibilities here, so you can fill this one in yourself!)
4. George Washington is now seen to be encroaching upon Liberty, ambitious nationalist that he was!
5. Washington’s head touches the “BER” of “LIBERTY”, silently signaling the imminent takeover of the United States by the little-known government agency, Bureau of Education & Research.
6. Finally, George Washington turns “Woke”, looking ahead, rather than looking behind!
7. Whereas the old Washington looked back nobly upon slavery, the new one looks ahead to a revival of slavery in the coming decade after 2022—As signified by the “D” (for “decade”) under “2022”.
8. Revisionist historians seek to make George Washington more masculine by removing his hair bow!
9. The border is now more robust than before!
10. The New Quarter proves Washington was two-faced after all!
11. The historic “P” on the old Quarter was code for the sentiment, “Protect the Constitution”, where the new “D” stands for “Destroy the Constitution.”
12. “LGF” on the new quarter (on the base of the neck) stands for the underground Anarchist slogan “Let Government Fail!”
13. “LGF” on the new quarter (on the base of the neck) stands for the underground Republican Libertarian slogan “Large Government Fails!”
14. “LGF” on the new quarter (on the base of the neck) stands for the underground Democrat slogan “Large Government’s Fantastic!”
15. “LGF” on the new quarter (on the base of the neck) stands for the underground Republican/Libertarian slogan “Let’s Go, Frandon!”, which they have cleverly disguised in a variant spelling to hide the true meaning.
16. “LGF” on the new quarter (on the base of the neck) stands for the New World Order’s motto, Lauda finem governmentum, which means, when translated, “Praise the government to the end.”
17. Washington’s figure looms larger than before, signifying that he is now greater in the American esteem than he was at first.
18. Washington’s head is bigger than before, signifying that his arrogance is finally being recognized by Americans as never before.
19. Washington’s head is bigger than before, signaling that the US Government no longer considers macrocephaly something to be ashamed of.
20. The two versions of the coin, now juxtaposed, show Washington opposing himself, in a shout-out those struggling with Multiple Personality Disorder.
21. The new Washington is proud to reveal his lobe, where the old Washington was prudish.
22. The original Washington was an impostor, as careful study of the two quarters reveals!
23. The new Washington was an impostor, as careful study of the two quarters reveals!
24. CONSPIRACY! CONSPIRACY! THE YEARS DON’T MATCH!
25. The traditional quarter has had 119 ridges (“reeds”) since the coin was first minted, but the new one has 118, which is the same as the dime. This was done secretly by a disgruntled employee at the US Mint (in a clever allusion to inflation), and the alteration was discovered too late to be changed before the 2022 quarters went into circulation.
26. The traditional quarter has had 119 ridges (“reeds”) since the coin was first minted, but the new one has 120. This was done quietly by an enthusiastic committee at the US Mint who hope to usher in a new era of optimism, spurred by the fact that we now get more ridges on our quarters than before.