Beloved soul,
Locked up in your fortress,
Where little love can get in
And less can get out—
Where we must talk through the walls—
You within and me without—
Catching what we can of the muffled conversation,
And simply having
To do without the rest—
Where your hurts from years gone by
Still reverberate inside its walls,
Though rarely heard to us without—
And from where the chance of further hurt is
You primary concern in this world,
Even as others live
More or less successfully out here,
Alternately winning and losing in life,
For having dared its risks—
I have long wanted you to know
That I love you fully—
More than you will ever feel
As long as you stay behind those walls—
And that I hope that one day,
You will come out
And let me love, and be loved,
By the as-yet undiscovered whole of you.
I hope that you can learn what it is
To truly be partners
With another living soul,
Rather than having to
Hold all the authority yourself
For fear that there is too little
To be gained from partnership,
Or too much to be lost.
And so I wait for you,
Listening at the lock
And doing wholeheartedly what I can for you—
Though I weep for what might be,
If only you were willing
To turn the key—
And hoping desperately that,
If nothing else,
You might at least let me come in—
Even if you are not decided
To come out.
But I tell you this, beloved—
From my tear-stained side
Of this cold stone wall—
Whatever may come,
Whether I can ever enjoy
Your company outside those walls or not,
It shall always be my honor
To have given you
Whatever you would take
From my love,
For loving you has been for me no whim,
But the resolute decision of my very heart.
