Whether we like this or not about reality, here’s the fact: The path to hypocrisy is a short one.
Billy declares that “People should clean up after themselves!”, but Billy is just one decision away from leaving a mess himself–especially if he’s in a rush, or otherwise under stress.
Sally gets onto others for being late and says it’s a matter of character. But Sally is just rough situation away from being late herself. And then, when it happens to her, she’s just one further decision away from not being fully accountable for her failure.
The fact of the matter is that we all recognize certain principles in life, and we can easily reason that it is better to follow them than not. So it’s not hard at all to come up with some assertion, such as “Politicians should treat one another with respect.” Duh. That makes sense—-at least when we’re not in the heat of some scandal as spectators. But when this one snubs that one, and that one snubs back, then it’s easy for us to toss that principle into the toilet—even if only momentarily—and to support the bad behavior of our favorites.
It’s that short a journey to hypocrisy. It’s just one step away. One negligent decision. One lazy decision. One angry decision. One greedy decision. Any of these vices—and probably several more—can all lead us to a hypocritical position.
And then comes the call-out—-when someone calls us out on our hypocrisy. And when that happens, we are again just one step away from either dealing with it honestly, rationally, and responsibly, or from deciding to avoid responsibility for it. We could come clean and fess up and withdraw whatever hypocritical thing we have said, or apologize for whatever hypocritical actions we have done. Or not.
Everyone stumbles into hypocrisy quite as naturally as one stumbles into saying “then” when they should have said “than”, or into setting five places at the table when they should have set six, or into walking into the kitchen when they meant to walk into the dining room instead. It’s an error.
But people show us what kind of people they are by how they DEAL with that error. Some step into hypocrisy in some certain way, and never again step out of it. They dig in. Harden their defenses. Distance themselves from those who would point it out.
Others, however, have got a much better handle on themselves, and discipline themselves to admit it when they have violated a principle, and they quickly correct themselves.
It’s quite a fundamental difference in character. It says a great deal about what kind of people we are.
We all step into hypocrisy—and probably a few times a day. The important thing about us is how quickly we step back out of it.
Where’s Billy? Well, he’s in the kitchen.I thought he was coming to the dining room.Well, he was, but he walked into the kitchen instead.OK, so why doesn’t he come into the dining room NOW? He said we all needed to meet in here.Well, he’s the proud sort, and doesn’t like to admit his errors.So he’s just going to stand in the kitchen forever?Yeah, looks like it.
Believe it or not, people can learn to get a pretty good handle on their moral errors, and can keep themselves in check quite regularly. We call this “maturity”. And our problem is in getting the person who is being hypocritical to recognize that in so doing, he or she is being immature. They’ll likely get it when they see other people being hypocritical. But when they do it themselves, they’re likely to have a bias blindspot in play, where they don’t see it as clearly.
Mature people, however, learn to be ever vigilant on the lookout for such problems with their own behavior.
