The man himself sins
But blames it on Satan
Or on the pressures he’s facing
Or on his bad mood or his fatigue
Or on the difficult behavior of those around him
Or on the bad circumstances of the day
Or on the abuses from his childhood.
And if the excuses won’t distract his conscience,
He goes on the attack, blaming others for their shortcomings—
Whether real or imagined or flat-out fabricated, he doesn’t care.
And this serves its purpose, giving him something else to do
Other than to admit that the man himself sins.
And he doesn’t mind causing their pain
If it will alleviate his for a moment or two.
And when the distraction has run its short course,
He hates them because it was in fact short.
And fortunately for him, that hatred
Provides its own distraction for a while
Before it runs out of steam.
And he sees what he’s doing,
Because one has to be that clever
To play well at this game.
And he hates them when they call him out on it.
And he doesn’t recognize the irony in it, but he even
Disrespects them when they do not call him out.
And if two or more work together against him in this,
He will seek to divide them by whatever means are available—
Whatever it takes to avoid his guilt even for the moment.
And he takes refuge in the church, where he knows
He’ll be left alone in return for paying lip service to the cause,
As they slather him and his victims alike with a twisted grace
That says that nothing must be fixed and all is well.
And he is glad to have them run interference for him like this.
It’s a win/win, worth the small trouble it takes to go
And to keep up appearances.
And they will gaslight his victims for him,
As if it were not the man himself who sins,
But his bruises and scars and his post-traumatic stress,
And he just needs grace and time and grace and time
And some more grace and time.
And they will not grab the man by the lapels
And talk some sense into him.
They will not make him stop.
And they will not kick him out
For behaving like this while claiming to be
A devotee of Jesus
And besmirching the very Name of God Himself.
No, to call him out would be “judging”, they say—
Even though they will dare from time to time
To grab the victims by the lapels and insist that “stop judging”.
And being excellent victims, they comply.
And so the Golden Rule, as it is practiced there,
Is only golden for the narcissist, for no one compels him to obey,
And the victims volunteer to keep accepting him
Even though he is in flagrant defiance of the Living God.
They are counseled to “find the good” in this somehow.
And what twisted “good” they find!
The church counts it its mandate to “keep the peace”,
Even though this is not peace at all, but chaos.
They’re willing to lie to themselves about that
As long as it keeps the narcissist calm.
And since they’ve got the victims trained
To suffer silently, it does seem to work.
And there will be, after all, cookies and punch
In the fellowship hall afterward.
And all is right with the world.
And counseling is available for the victims,
To help them keep them content without resolution.
But the victors, they have learned,
Are to be left alone.
And so they pretend that the dead are living,
And that they should love what the Lord hates,
And that it is not really—somehow—the man himself who sins—
Or that—somehow—it doesn’t count as such when he does.
And they, too, know better
Because they have read it in the scriptures
Just like you and I have—
And the narcissist, too, for that matter—
But nobody has grabbed the victims by the lapels either
To make them face the truth of what it says.
So it is not only the narcissist who is sinning,
But the church, too, and its worthless shepherds,
Who do not tend the flock for God’s purposes,
But for some other.
And they all pretend that it is not they themselves
Who are sinning in having it all this way.
And that’s how this sick symbiosis works.
Here is the rule, as I understand it:
No one is responsible,
Except for him who holds someone responsible—
Unless, of course, it’s for the sin of holding someone responsible,
For that is, after all, the only sin properly called out.
Of course, it has only become a sin since Bible days,
When doing something about sin was actually an expected practice
And when believers were expected to adopt the will of God as their own.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17. ESV
As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
Titus 3:10-11. ESV
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
Ephesians 5:11-14. ESV
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:
Proverbs 6:16-19
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
