Jack Pelham

He boldly declared that it is flat-out wrong
To have any rule that’s not in the Bible.
And I asked whether this would include
The very rule he was stating—as there is
No such rule to be found in the Bible.

It’s not generally considered in good taste
To speak honestly about stupid people—
Though I should note that speaking stupidly
About honest people is still in high fashion.

Though I certainly understand how it works,
I will never cease to be amazed at the dumb junk
A guy can make up on the spot
In order to keep from believing
Something he doesn’t like.

You will have to put on your thinking cap to understand me here—
And there are certainly those who would rather misunderstand
Than to put on their thinking caps. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
And yes, I know better, from years’ of bitter experience,
Than to think that this stern introduction will
Keep the dedicated nonthinker from misunderstanding.
But the fact of the matter is that the nonthinker is not
My target audience. So here goes.

Please help me restore this early American folk song that passed down through my family!

This catchy song is so obscure that there is nothing to be discovered about it from an Internet search. I’m a choral composer and conductor and I want to set this song for my community choir, to be accompanied by a Bluegrass band. I’ve got a lot of it done already, but I’m missing the second section of the song, and only remember two of the words to it.

It is an amazing gift that man has the faculties
For observation and analysis,
And for drawing conclusions and sticking to them.

Jesus had told the man, “Today shalt thou be with Me in Paradise.”
And billions, who cannot agree on much else, have taken it as a fact.

“It must have happened,” they will tell you,
Whether any writer tells us after the fact that it did or not.

And I wonder about the birds
Whether they are singing to be heard by us
In the first place.

The birds could quit singing
And there are many
Who would not notice.

Perhaps we should recognize the foolishness
Of expecting someone to behave better
Than he has yet been taught.