Note: These three are ready favorites of mine. I heard them years ago from various sources.
Snail Joke #1
Once upon a time, a snail decided to go for a ride on the back of a turtle. Do you know what the snail said? (See answer in red at the bottom of this page.)
Snail Joke #2
Police responded to a call regarding out a mugging in Central Park. It seems that two snails had mugged a turtle. They arrived on the scene to find the snails gone and the turtle still spinning slowly to a stop on his back. They stopped the turtle and helped turn him over, and then asked, “Tell us what happened.” The turtle replied (insert slow turtle voice here), “I don’t know; it all happened so fast!”
Snail Joke #3
A man is watching TV at home when he hears a faint knock on his front door. Miffed to be interrupted, he gruffly opens the door to find no one there. He’s about to slam the door when he happens to look down, where he sees a tiny snail on the doorstep. He picks up the snail, slings it out into the yard, and slams the door.
Three weeks later, there’s another knock on the door. The man opens the door once again to see nobody there. And once again, before slamming the door, he looks down to see the same snail, who looks up at him and says, “Hey, what was THAT all about?!”
Answer to #1