Dear America,
In the wake of these terrible mass murders, no one has yet proposed a truly-viable set of solutions. So I’m stepping forward with this brief letter to meet the need:
First of all, I propose that we require all would-be mass murderers to register for a mass murder permit. We would deny them all on principle, of course. Meanwhile, we’d know to be on the lookout for bad behavior from all who apply for such a permit.
And for those critics who are thinking that true mass murderers wouldn’t care about getting a permit in the first place, Continue reading

See this gold bar?
